Filed under: In The News, Playground Bureau, Opinions

On a sunny Saturday about a week ago, a healthy, leafy branch fell from a tree in Central Park and the unthinkable happened: It killed a 6-month-old girl who was in her mom’s arms, just as the dad was about to take their picture. The mom was gravely injured. The dad is now taking the first steps toward filing a lawsuit.

Most likely it’ll be against the city, the park, the maintenance crew, but it won’t be against the real culprit, because it’s a culprit we no longer acknowledge:

Fate.

When New York’s Mayor Bloomberg called the accident “an act of God,” a local paper jumped on him for being “glib.” National Public Radio wondered if the million or so the park spends on maintenance is enough. It quoted one vendor in the park who said he loves all the greenery, “But if it is going to kill people, cut it down.”

Which is, of course, exactly where this kind of thinking takes us: A tragedy occurred. It must be the fault of someone — the park staff, or even the trees themselves. So to make sure nothing like that ever happens again, let us cut down all the trees to make the park safe for children.

Even though, of course, it won’t be a park anymore. I suppose it could be a big rectangle of grass, but if it rains and the grass is slippery, a kid could fall and break a leg, which could get infected and the child could die. So let’s pave it over, just to be safe.

When you take it to extremes like that, this kind of, “Let’s be absolutely safe!” thinking sounds silly. But the real consequence of believing all accidents are someone’s fault is that it leads us take excessive precautions. And it leads us to blame.

Some of the excessive precautions our society takes are funny, like the warning labels on everything: “Do not fold stroller while baby is inside.” “Do not iron clothes on body.” Duh. But excessive precaution also to leads to things like removing all merry-go-rounds and see-saws from playgrounds, because a kid could get hurt. It’s like chopping down all the trees in the park: We’ve gained safety … but at what price?

The blame side of things is even more corrosive. In the olden days (when I was growing up), if a kid ran away from his mom at the carnival and ended up tripping and maybe breaking his arm, other grownups would sympathize with … the mom! “That kind of thing happens,” they’d say. Today it’s, “Why weren’t you holding his hand? I would never let go of my child. It’s all your fault!”

The perception is that things always go right if we do everything right, and also that we can do everything right. (Ha!) Which means that if something goes wrong, there is always a person to blame. Not God. Not fate. Some heinous human. Maybe you.

But bad things do happen. Branches fall. Children trip. Life happens. The only way to avoid it is to avoid life itself.

Which seems to be the direction we’re heading.

Related: The Real Reason Your In-Laws Don’t Want You (and Your Baby) to Visit

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ParentDish

Filed under: Just For Moms, Pregnancy & Birth, Medical Conditions, In The News

Even crackers won’t help severe morning sickness, and a new study says it’s in your genes. Credit: meddygarnet, Flickr

When you’re bent over with nausea and clutching your belly bump, don’t blame your wee one for your misery — scientists have found a link between the severity of your morning sickness and that of your own mother.

BBC News reports that a study by Norwegian researchers indicates that pregnant women are three times more likely to suffer from severe morning sickness if their mothers did, as well.

Hyperemesis gravidarum, or excessive nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, affects about 2 percent of all pregnant women, and can sometimes even require hospitalization. The Norwegian study, which looked at 2.3 million births, showed that women whose mothers had the condition are three times more likely to suffer from it, as well. The results could help women know their risk for the disease.

Hyperemesis is very different from typical morning sickness, which generally disappears after the first trimester. Instead, moms who suffer from it have excessive nausea that begins before the 22nd week of pregnancy and, in its most serious form, can lead to dangerous health conditions including dehydration and weight loss.

It’s also the most common reason that pregnant women are admitted to the hospital early. Hyperemesis also takes the blame for some babies with low birth weights, and even premature birth. Researchers tell BBC News that previous studies asserted tha the condition was caused by psychological issues.

The study, published in the British Medical Journal, also revealed that mom and daughter may share lifestyle risk factors that contribute to the condition.

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